Becoming a mommy of three was always my childhood dream. I constantly dreamt of dressing them up, packing their school bags, helping them out in their home work, taking them for music lessons, teaching them to sing, reading out bed time stories and every small thing a regular mom would do!
Life moved on… I got married to a handsome and wonderful young man. Married life was absolute bliss the first year until we wanted to have a baby!
Several months went by, with no signs of me becoming pregnant. Depression started setting in each time I got the news of someone getting pregnant. Viewing albums of newborns used to make me wonder whether I would ever get to enjoy such priceless moments. Every other relative and friend I came across started enquiring if I had any “good-news” and I didn’t have any!
I finally decided to visit a Gyno to get myself a normal check-up. What I expected to be a single visit, turned out to be a series of tests, scans and x-rays – trust me, not a very pleasant experience!
My first test result was –
Uterus – Mixed echogenic mass seen measuring 40 x 38 mm close to the left ovary… FIBROID.
Ovaries – Appear enlarged in size and volume with multiple small follicles seen at the periphery of both ovaries.
BOOOM! That was my first shocker! But I had a much scarier news awaiting me!
I was asked to undergo a hysterosalpingogram (HSG Test) to check if my fallopian tubes were doing okay. The doctor performed the test on me thrice and at the end of it her face looked rather disappointed. By the look on her face I knew she had some not-so-nice news for me. Yes! My fallopian tubes were missing on the x-ray!
That’s when my childhood dream crumbled!
I can never explain the pain and disappointment, I went through the following months. I could never return from a birthday party with a smile. It reminded me of what I could never enjoy. I felt embarrassed to come face to face with my friends who just turned mommies. (These are honest confessions of my heart and I don’t intend to offend anyone!). I even began to contemplate adoption, hoping that would be the least I could do to fulfill my dream. Through all these tough and agonizing moments, my husband was the strong pillar I leaned on. He constantly encouraged me not to give up and reminded that God was still in the miracle working business!
My DH was right! Despite all the medical odds, my preg card turned positive on the morning of 14th September 2009! I feared it might be an ectopic pregnancy. But it wasn’t because when my God does something, it can never ever go wrong! That morning marked the beginning of my dream! On May 7, 2010, our bundle of joy made her grand entrance!
Thus my God proved how He specializes in making dreams come true!
24 thoughts on “When My Dream Crumbled”
I am moved by you honesty..no words Dear …
First of all..thank you for sharing this testimony:) ….I believe that this blog would encourage so many mothers and mothers-to-be around the world to trust and hope in our God ..God is faithful in fulfilling His promises to His children..God bless You and your little princess:) ..
What a touching writeup! I am sure KT will treasure it someday soon. And guess what 14th Sept 2009 is a great day for both of us. Kuttyma was born on 14th!
How wonderful! Thanks for asking me to blog Vini. If you hadn't asked, I would have never got myself to write this!
There's nothing like the miracle of birth! So ordinary yet so profound! I'm so happy for you my Biscuit. Motherhood suits you!Adoption can still be an option… even after Kat and your other two babies. (I hope I can live by that though. So much easier to preach)
what an amazing testimony Michelle….keep going and spread the news of our loving saviour. it was a very nice idea for you to put this up and encourage others who may be in a similar position as you were in. nothing makes me happier than hearing about someone who puts their trust in the Lord and is rewarded by our saviour for it. James 1:2-4. God Bless your family. Be blessed and spread the blessing around.
Akka it really amazed me….. God has proved that He is still working on our lives.. god bless KT
Dear Michelle,Your such an encouragement !!! Your blogs and your profile page on FB always lefts my spirits as they're a tremendous blessing…..God Bless you and you lil' angel. Luke 2:52 is for her.Love,Ann
Hi Mich……..Praise the Lord………Each word that you have commented is what Iam going through right now. But its my husband who keeps encouraging me that God is working on his miracle for us and he is my great support.Thank you Mich……for sharing these words…………God Bless your family. "Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands"(2 Timothy 1:6, NKJ) is for you.
What a Powerful & touching Testimony Michelle… Our God is a great God… and hez always got special blessings for his children…God bless You & your little family and let ur dreams come true :).. God is still using you as a channel of blessing through this testimony… Im sure this testimony will build more faith for anyone undergoing this situation…God bless!Anita
Magalae,There was also pressure on us parents as to your predicament. However, the Holy spirit prompted us to “Call on those things that be not as though they were” and we did just that and Praise God for the fulfilment of His word. This is just the beginning of many more promises to be fulfilled. Therefore, let us never move away from having a `GOOD OPINION OF GOD & HIS WORD`. All Glory to Him.Dad
Thanks for all your prayers and the words of faith you encouraged me with, Dad!!!
Jen… Your answer is round the corner… Start praising Him!… Read Isaiah 54:1… That's the promise I claimed!
Three kids and adoption?!!! Now if that ever happens… That would be the greatest of all miracles in my life 🙂
Was really a touching testimony akka….it's really encouraging me coz at times i lose hope..even i have the same feeling what u had b4 u got pregnant…and u know what my wedding day's on 14th of sept…
God knew there are some out there who went through the same pain I went through… Probably that's the reason He urged me to write this… I am so glad it blessed your heart Sophia… Stay strong… Next year this time you are going to be carrying your miracle in your arms!!!… When that happens make sure you testify of it whenever and wherever possible!!!
God has made a way where there seemed to be no way !! My! My! What a testimony of God's faithfulness to those he calls his own. KT is surely a GIFT FROM THE LORD . My heart is overflowing with joy…Cant imagine how your heart will be dearie!! Praying that KT may become a mighty warrior for the Lord …Love always.
Yeah sure I'll do it when it happens and thank u for the encouraging words akka…btw i was ur junior (EEE) in karunya…
Mike, this has spoken millions for me….. U can never imagine how much i feel comforted. And thro my faithlessness, this is what I understand as the God's Word… Isaiah 66:9Thanks Mike…..
God will never let us down….
Hi MikeJust came through this wonderful testimony… you made me cry. Aren't we so blessed to have such a GOD, HE is just love… wondering how HE can love us like this… HE is a faithful God. May HE bless you more dear, and fulfill all your desires…
Your blog gives hope to people who are depressed to think and act positively .. They inspire a lot ..! Sep 14 its special to me also because with lot of pain in labour room my mom delivered me after 7 years of her married life.