When My Dream Crumbled

Becoming a mommy of three was always my childhood dream. I constantly dreamt of dressing them up, packing their school bags, helping them out in their home work, taking them for music lessons, teaching them to sing,  reading out bed time stories and every small thing a regular mom would do!

Life moved on… I got married to a handsome and wonderful young man. Married life was absolute bliss the first year until we wanted to have a baby!

Several months went by, with no signs of me becoming pregnant. Depression started setting in each time I got the news of someone getting pregnant. Viewing albums of newborns used to make me wonder whether I would ever get to enjoy such priceless moments. Every other relative and friend I came across started enquiring if I had any “good-news” and I didn’t have any!

I finally decided to visit a Gyno to get myself a normal check-up. What I expected to be a single visit, turned out to be a series of tests, scans and x-rays – trust me, not a very pleasant experience!

My first test result was –

Uterus – Mixed echogenic mass seen measuring 40 x 38 mm close to the left ovary… FIBROID.

Ovaries – Appear enlarged in size and volume with multiple small follicles seen at the periphery of both ovaries.

BOOOM! That was my first shocker! But I had a much scarier news awaiting me!

I was asked to undergo a hysterosalpingogram (HSG Test) to check if my fallopian tubes were doing okay. The doctor performed the test on me thrice and at the end of it her face looked rather disappointed. By the look on her face I knew she had some not-so-nice news for me. Yes! My fallopian tubes were missing on the x-ray!

That’s when my childhood dream crumbled!

I can never explain the pain and disappointment, I went through the following months. I could never return from a birthday party with a smile. It reminded me of what I could never enjoy. I felt embarrassed to come face to face with my friends who just turned mommies. (These are honest confessions of my heart and I don’t intend to offend anyone!). I even began to contemplate adoption, hoping that would be the least I could do to fulfill my dream. Through all these tough and agonizing moments, my husband was the strong pillar I leaned on. He constantly encouraged me not to give up and reminded that God was still in the miracle working business!

My DH was right! Despite all the medical odds, my preg card turned positive on the morning of 14th September 2009! I feared it might be an ectopic pregnancy. But it wasn’t because when my God does something, it can never ever go wrong! That morning marked the beginning of my dream! On May 7, 2010, our bundle of joy made her grand entrance!

Thus my God proved how He specializes in making dreams come true!

Advertisements