There are two simple rules I follow every time LO trips and falls, bumps against something or hurts herself –
- DO NOT panic or express fear
- Pay attention and empathize
I’ve noticed, most of the times when she falls or hurts herself, she first looks at me, sees what my reaction is and then begins to cry. So though at times my heart would start racing in fear wondering if she hurt herself bad, I put on a fake smile, laugh about it and run to her rescue! And to my surprise, she’ll calm down in minutes!
In the past, I’ve seen some parents who when their child gets hurt or falls down, they beat the floor or the object that hurt their kid in order to pacify their child. Then I read in some book that doing so cultivates the thirst for revenge subconsciously in the child’s mind.
Lately, every time K80 hurt herself, she cries and tells me (mostly enacts) how she hurt herself. Though what must have happened may appear very petty, I figured out she wants me to pay attention and empathize. This is where the magic kiss comes to action!
The minute I hear/see her trip down and cry, I rush beside her, hug her, make her sit on my lap and ask her what happened. I just love the next few seconds as she begins enacting the incident with the few words she knows and some sound effects. It is one of the cutest sights and I would want to burst out laughing. But I’ll wear my empathetic face and continue listening to her. Once she finishes her story, I’ll ask her where she got hurt. She’ll point to her knees or fingers or whichever place she got hurt. I’ll ask her again just to give her the reassurance that I really care and I am serious about her condition. Then I give her one long magical kiss where it hurt… The magic happens… My butterfly is back on her feet!
This happens almost several times a day in our house and every time it does, I just sit back and admire that child-like trust and faith my daughter has in me. Her pain probably did not instantly disappear. But all she needs is just a kiss to forget her pain!