A few times over the last couple of months, on different occasions, I had to leave the girls with Vj for almost an entire day. On all those occasions, almost whomever I met, first asked where the girls were; I replied “with Vj”!
The minute I said, “Vj”, nearly everyone were surprised and a few were in utter shock!
“Can Vj feed the girls?”
“Can he manage all by himself?”
“Can he bathe the baby?”
“Can he change her diapers too?”
Honestly, I was shocked that people are shocked by a dad carrying out his duties!
Our Indian culture has given men a false identity in which he is supposed to do only certain things to keep up his manliness. A man only earns, does his part to make babies, provides ‘financially’, socializes with his friends, drives around his family whenever he feels it is required and THAT’S IT!
EVERYTHING ELSE that could possibly dirty the hands is titled a wife’s job! Be it cleaning the house, doing the dishes, cooking, washing clothes, drying them, taking care of every aspect of the husband and children is her’s! And there are these working moms, or do I call them ‘Supermoms’, who do all of these PLUS their jobs while their hubbies bite their nails and watch TV!
What a shame that most men in our nation have proudly embarrassed this stupid notion!
I have been noticing some dads – educated, city dads. When I look at their behavior, I feel really sorry for their poor wives!
These guys treat their kids like toys. They just carry them briefly, walk up and down, show off their child and the minute the poor baby cries or poops, he hands the child over to his wife!
And then, he and his family will be watching TV, the child will be playing in the hall and the wife slogging in the kitchen. The minute the baby cries, the entire family will call for the wife! The wife will come rushing, carry the baby and start multitasking while the others continue to watch TV undisturbed!
These men act as if their wives’ primary job is just take care of the children! He will go around doing what he wants, while the wife stays back with the kids. And if at all he takes them out, you will find him having fun on his own, while the wife keeps running behind the child, feeding it and changing its diapers!
Boys, grow up! Just becoming a dad does not make you a man! A real man does everything!
A real man knows that there are no two category of jobs for a man and a woman!
A real man knows his duty does not end with paying the rent/EMI, bills and his child’s school fees! He shares everyday duties at home with his wife!
A real man knows true joy is not just carrying your child around when it is dressed up. Joy is feeding the baby, although it will make a mess! Joy is giving baby its bath while it giggles and splashes water on itself and you! Joy is even changing a dirty diaper, cleaning the baby, powdering it and putting on a fresh diaper! At the end of it, you will either smell like poop or baby powder! But the smile your baby will give you with a fresh diaper on is priceless!
A real man gives his wife a break even when she doesn’t ask for one! He offers to babysit so his wife could treat herself with something fun!
A real man lends not just his wallet, but his hands and time to help with the child’s raising!
Vj, thank you for being a real man – an extraordinary husband and a terrific dad! You have been true to the term ‘life partner’ partnering with me in everything and making parenting a whole lot easier and rewarding!
And kudos to all the real men out there!