It’s half past midnight. I am really really sleepy. But since the next two weeks are going to be super hectic, I do not want to put this off. I want to write about this right away when all my emotions are fresh from the incident!
So I turned 33 yesterday! Honestly, I wasn’t too excited about it! In my mind I knew I had numerous things to be thankful for! To top it, Hubby has gifted a 2N3D stay in a beautiful resort, which we will enjoy sometime next month; I’ve been given the honor of doing something quite important at a event in church; so many loving wishes from wonderful people. But deep down in my heart, I was missing something. I just wasn’t feeling good about myself – just the fact that I am getting older, my weight gain and that stinging feeling of purposelessness! It made me miserable on the inside!
However, I masked it all with a smile!
In the mean time, KT came to know that it was birthday day-before-yesterday. From that moment on she was filled with this kind of joy and excitement that she has never expressed before! It’s not that kind you feel when something good happens to oneself. It that kind of joy you feel when something good is happening for the one you dearly love! That feeling of exhilaration you feel for somebody else!
When it’s KT’s birthday, I have this habit of counting down days to her birthday by asking her, “Kattu, do you know what’s five days from now?” And just when she tries to figure it out, I will yell, “It’S YOUR BIRTHDAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!”
I was about to hit the bed the night before. KT knelt beside me. Her eyes all wide in excitement she asks, “Mamma, tomorrow.. morning.. when you wake up.. What’s it?” I smile at her and she yells, “It’S YOUR BIRTHDAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!”
She ran to her Dadda, bugged him to bring the cake (which he was so unsuccessful in hiding it from me ;)), light the candle and the three sang for me!
It was a super moist, very tasty white forest cake! Each of us gobbled as much as we could!
Moments later KT snuggled into my arms and told me, “Mamma, it’s your birthday no.. So I am going to sleep next to you because I love you so much!”
The way she said it, I knew she meant every word! Her words were so genuine from her heart!
I was overwhelmed! I couldn’t take my eyes off her sweet face. The next few moments I watched her drift to sleep!
On the morning of my birthday, she woke up, gave me a hug and wished me! Soon she rushed to school!
When she got back from school, she was back in her excited state! She walked into the house and she frantically kept searching for something! I asked her what she was searching for and she replies, “Mama, I am looking for decorations for your birthday party!”
Later in the evening, she somehow dug out a couple of decorations I had made for her birthday. She arranged it on the table. She took a few nail polishes and placed it beside.
With a sad face she told her dad, “Dada, I don’t have anything to gift mama!” Vijay asked her to draw me a greeting card. She drew one and was still not satisfied!
All of a sudden, she ran and asked her Dada for a box. She went to a corner, put a few things in it, closed it and brought me the box along with an almost tattered old wrapping paper from the shelves and requested to gift wrap it without peeking in! I did! She placed the gift along with the decorations and instructed me to open it only after the guests come!
I had invited my parents in law for dinner. I was in one of those now rare cooking sprees. I had cooked mutton biryani, chicken curry and gutti vankaya! The food had turned out really well. We all enjoyed the dinner and were conversing with each other!
KT comes over and hands me her gift! I really couldn’t wait to open it! The minute I did, my heart melted! This is what she had kept inside – two candies, two bracelets and two rings beautifully kept inside a heart shaped box and a Barbie bracelet! All items that is very precious to her!
What I felt that moment is beyond words! Every negativity that was weighing me down just vanished! Like the Frozen movie quote goes,
‘Only an act of true love can thaw a frozen heart!’
I have been so blessed to experience what it is to be loved by my parents, my brother, my husband, my in laws and friends. For the very first time I experienced what it is to be loved back by my child. She has always been a very loving girl – very lavish with her hugs, kisses and compliments. This was the first time she went overboard in expressing it!
There are a few mothers I know who have grown up daughters. I remember them often telling me what their girls gifted them for their birthdays and anniversaries. Although I found those gestures very sweet, only now I realized the intensity of it!
Many parents say in the movies, talk shows, blogs and in person how all the years of hard work and the responsibility a parent shoulders feels so worth it in that brief moment when you are loved back by your child. It definitely is true!
So here I am, 33 feeling deeply loved, highly favored and greatly blessed!